Good News, Bad News
by The Qster
Summary: Good news is, you have a new project. Bad news is, it's with the snob school up the lane. Good news is, you go to the snob school all the time. Bad news is, any one of those kids could be your new penpal....SasuNaru, NejiTen, KakaIru, KibaHina, GaaNaru
1. Konoha Public School

_**Good News, Bad News**_

**Inspired by:**

**Good News, Bad News by David Wolstencroft**

**The Year of Secret Assignments by Jaclyn Moriarty**

**Disclaimer:**

**I did not write the above novels, nor did I write or create Naruto. So don't sue me.**

* * *

_Poverty is the schoolmaster of character._

– Antiphanes

_If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed, and color, we would find some other cause for prejudice by noon. _

– George Aiken

* * *

"'Scuse me! Coming through! _Outta my way, punk!_" Breathing heavily, a one Naruto Uzumaki, age sixteen, slammed open the door of his Literature class. Gasping for breath, he looked up at his teacher with pleading eyes. "It was those idiotic freshmen! It's not my fault both our passing periods are at the same time! Please don't give me another detention, I'll do anything!"

The teacher, a young man with a brown ponytail and a scar across his nose, looked over at Naruto in surprise. "Mr. Uzumaki, what a…surprise to see you so early." A few of the students chuckled.

Naruto lifted his head from where he had been kneeling on the floor, looking confused. "Huh?"

"You are only…" here the teacher checked his watch. "…one minute late. Congratulations, Mr. Uzumaki. You made it in time for roll call for the first time in the school year." He raised one eyebrow. "However, you should think of a new excuse. You've used that freshmen one many times before. Take a seat, please."

Grinning from ear to ear, Naruto stood up and bowed theatrically to the applause and whistles of his classmates. "Thank you, thank you," he repeated as he sauntered down the aisle.

Trying to hide a smile, their teacher turned back to the whiteboard and began to write something. Naruto finally reached his graffiti-covered, scratched-up desk in the back and plopped into the seat, expertly sliding his orange backpack off at the same time. Turning his head, he nodded to his best friend, who was slouching in the corner desk, a dark hoodie covering a mess of brown hair. "S'up, dogbreath?"

"Got some good news, bad news, foxface. And congrats on the record. First time since the first day of school, right?"

"Yep." Naruto peered at his friend's face. "Is it really that bad?"

Kiba looked up and nodded glumly. "It's so bad, that there _is_ no good news. We should rename it 'Bad news, bad news'." With that comment, he began to slouch again.

Good News, Bad News, was a game that the two had played since they had been kids. It would start off with an innocent enough scenario, then escalate into violence or terror. The point was mostly to end up with the most favorable outcome.

"But there's gotta be some good news!" Naruto protested, not noticing that their teacher had stopped talking and was now walking towards their desks. "There's _always_ good news!"

"Gentlemen!" Iruka yelled, slamming one hand down on Naruto's desk and the other on Kiba's. They both jumped. The scary face on their teacher vanished, replaced with an even creepier smile. "Normally, one must pay attention in class to learn."

"But Mr. Umino, we _do_ pay attention!" Naruto protested earnestly, his face straight. "I've learned not to start food fights when the superintendents are visiting!"

"And I've learned that duct taping everything in the principle's office is not tolerated!" Kiba added solemnly.

Iruka smirked. "Very good, boys. Perhaps you would like to learn not to talk while your teacher is speaking this afternoon?"

"Oh, but Mr. Umino, we learned that last week! 'I will pay attention in math class and not shine a laser pointer on her butt'." Naruto told him. The class laughed, all but a girl with pink-dyed hair in the front that just huffed.

"Well, since you seem to have such a liking to quoting detention rather than the immortal works of Shakespeare or Aristotle, perhaps you would like spending another afternoon there. _Both_ of you." Kiba turned pale and looked away. If he got another detention, his mom would kill him. Naruto, on the other hand, muttered something. "What was that, Mr. Uzumaki?"

"I said," Naruto raised his voice a little, blushing slightly at his words of submission. "I would rather not, Mr. Umino. Please."

Iruka was quiet for a moment, letting the class' eyes settle on Naruto. Maybe a little humiliation would make him act more appropriately. Then he sighed. "All right, Naruto. I'll let you off this time. But both of you pay attention, you hear me?"

They both nodded. "Yes, sir."

Their teacher sighed. Although he was the youngest teacher at Konoha Public High School, he was the only one that taught respect and manners. Although he didn't know it, he was one of the favorite teachers on the campus. He himself had gone to Public as a teenager, and had been one of the toughest kids around. With chains and attitude, he ruled the school. When he came back from college, however, it was apparent that he had traded in his leather and torn clothes for blue jeans and collar shirts. Iruka had been determined to help high school students to realize their true potential, as one of his teachers had shown him. This was his third year teaching, and already the students were more intelligent and respectful.

Well, at least they were respectful to the one who respected them, and who had taught them to respect themselves.

"Alright, then. Where was I?" Iruka noticed the bowl-cut boy in a green sweatshirt waving his hand around. "Yes, Mr. Lee?"

"You were about to tell us of our semester project!" exclaimed the youth, his eyes shining with excitement.

"Ah, yes. Thank you." He cleared his voice. "As I was saying, I have arranged a project for you. It's a- yes, Miss Haruno?"

Sakura put her hand down and, while twirling a piece of her hair with one finger, she popped her bubble gum and asked, "Like, how big of an effect will this have on our grades?"

"About one fourth of your semester grade, It's a letter exchange called the Secret Student Pen Pal Project! We will be exchanging letters with students from another school. You won't know who you're writing to, and neither will they. Ah, a question, Tenten?"

"Yeah." Today the rebellious teen had blue streaks in her auburn hair, with pieces of what looked like tinsel tied around her hairbuns. She pursed her blue-lipsticked lips. "What's this school we're going to be writing to? I'm not gonna talk to any of those Dirt Devils." As she leaned back in her chair to fold her arms across her chest, a chorus of boos and hoots of agreement greeted her statement.

Iruka rubbed his head in mock-frustration. "Oh ye of little faith! Did you already forget that I was once a student here? I don't think the school would let me." Dirt Devils was a common (and considered slanderous) nickname for the Sand Demons, the mascot of Kaze High School. Public (which was what the students called Konoha Public High) had never forgiven the Sand Demons for breaking their star basketball player's knee in '79. Sure, they had forgotten the situation he had been in, and who actually got hurt, and who was personally responsible, as well as the details of the mishap; but they always remembered that the team had been the Sand Demons and that their chance at the championship for the first time in years had been ruined. They continued to remind Kaze High (just in case the bastards forgot) by playing harder and dirtier in every sport, and usually winning. Thus, a deadly rivalry was born.

Tenten, of course, had considerable reason for concern, since she was on the basketball, swim, and boy's baseball teams and was captain of the cross country team as well.

Iruka reassured them once again. "And as much as I would like you to be a little friendlier to Kaze High-" here he had to raise his hands to shush the class again- "-we will not be corresponding with them, much to your happiness, I'm sure. The school in question is much closer than Kaze City." Here he smiled as if to brace the class for impact. "You will be writing to the students of Konoha Academy."

Silence.

A total and complete silence met his words.

Eyes opened in disbelief and jaws went slack. Most looked like they were trying still to process what their teacher had just said."

Iruka took advantage of the moment and launched into his planned speech. "This program is not only a Literature assignment. It is also a way for you to reach out to people your age outside of this school! It's also a way to unite Konoha's youths! Whoever your pen pal is, he or she can become your confidant, and you theirs. They won't even have to know your real names, although all pseudonyms must be approved by me before you use them. I've made a list on the board of things you might like to tell your pen pal on the board, such as your appearance, your likes and dislikes, whatever you choose to-" He was beginning to get excited, hoping that his student's blank faces meant they would go along quietly with the project instead of complaining like they always-

"Are you _crazy!_" Naruto snapped out of his trance-like shock. "Those snobs don't even think we're worth to wipe the dust off their designer, perfectly polished black uniform shoes, let alone write letters to!"

Iruka sighed. Well, it _was_ Public. When were they known to cooperate with any project? All he said, though, was, "Raise your hand before you speak, Mr. Uzumaki."

Naruto's outburst seemed to have woken the rest of the class. Many students promptly put their hands in the air impatiently.

"Yes, Mr. Lee?"

Lee waved his arms around in exasperation. "I for one normally would gladly participate in any challenge, but this is an insult! How can we form a- a system of _trust_ with spoiled ingrates that think that everyone at Public is uneducated crack heads and gang members?"

Chouji leaned over. "Lee, we _do_ have some uneducated crack heads and gang members."

"Yeah, but they think that all of us are, like, idiots!" Sakura declared, seemingly outraged. "Just last week one of those prissies hit on me, because he thought I was some 'loose tramp'! That's what he said!" she added to the girl sitting next to her, who shook her head in anger. "Can you believe the nerve of that prick?"

"Hand, Sakura," Iruka said calmly. He knew he had to let the class vent its anger before he could go anywhere. "Yes, Tenten?"

"Just because we dress differently and look different doesn't mean they can categorize us like that! I mean, sure, the majority of us don't turn up for class, and we mess around, but we're still intelligent! We're not stupid!"

"It's so prejudice for them to look down on us just because we're having fun!" Naruto burst out again, forgetting to raise his hand. "Just because we don't use thirteen letter words in each sentence and wear fancy clothes doesn't mean those stuck-up jerks have the right to look down on us like they do!"

Iruka nodded. "But aren't all of you also being prejudiced in thinking that _all_ of the students at the Academy are selfish snobs? In a sense, Public is so used to having to defend itself that you don't even give those other students a chance to show who they really are!" Seeing that he had the class' attention, Iruka gave them his most pleading look. "Just give it a chance."

No one answered him.

Giving up on the nice solution, he tapped his chin in concentration. "Of course, I can always switch the projects and have you write a report on the themes and ideals portrayed in the great classic Crime and Punishment…"

"We'd be happy to do the Pen Pal Project, Mr. Umino!" Sakura piped up, her eyes bright and voice a little to peppy. "It'll be a great experience." She looked back threateningly at her classmates and uttered through gritted teeth, "Won't it, guys?"

The class added its most hasty agreements.

"Good." Iruka smiled his creepy smile again. "Now, who finished the reading for The Last of the Mohicans?"

A fresh chorus of groans filled the room.

"Don't you ever let up?" Kiba demanded, burying his head in his arms.

"I try not to. But you sound like you know the _entire_ book from cover to back, Kiba. Mind giving us a total summary?"

* * *

"Was that the bad news, bad news?" Naruto asked Kiba as they pushed their way out into the shabby quad and trudged towards their normal lunch table.

"No, that was a surprise even to me. Yo, Ten! Nice outfit today!"

Tenten turned from her spot with the jocks (since she was one of the best female athletes they put up with her strange dressing habits) and winked, pointing at Kiba's hoodie that he wore almost every day. "Right back at 'cha!"

His friend scratched his head. "Wasn't she rave on Monday?"

"No," Kiba shook his head. "She was punk Monday."

"I thought she went grunge on Monday?" He asked, confused.

"No, she was grunge on Tuesday."

"What about Wednesday, then?"

"That was bohemian."

"Oh."

Kiba shook his head. "You know that she never wears the same style twice in a week! I wonder where she gets the money for the clothes and stuff, though…"

Naruto chortled as they sat down and explained, "Her family's pretty well off, but she refused to go to Academy. She says the uniforms contain individualism." He sighed. "Alright. Time for the Bad News, Bad News. And don't go easy."

Kiba held in his breath, then let it out slowly. "Bad news is, I'm switching schools."

"Is that it? Good news is, you still live close!"

"Bad news is, Mom's moving the family to Norko." **((AN: Just to clear things up, Norko is North Konoha))**

"Wha..? But that's all the way across the city!" Naruto complained.

"And I transfer next week," Kiba said miserably.

Naruto sat there, speechless. What was he going to do without Kiba? His right-hand man? His partner in crime? His cohort of all things mischievous? "Is it because I've got you into so many detentions?"

Kiba shook his head. "No way, man! Mom doesn't care about that stuff- she was just as wild at out age and worse, remember the stories?" Then he stopped and looked Naruto straight in the eyes. "You don't think it's _your _fault I'm leaving, do you?"

Naruto didn't answer, just looked at him with his pitiful blue eyes.

Kiba groaned. "You're like a second son to my mom, y'know? We have to move because of hers and dad's jobs! And the only reason I'm changing schools is because they both got a huge raise, and since Sis' going with them I need to go to a school with a dorm!" He shook his head, laughing slightly, and punched Naruto lightly on the arm. "I can't believe you thought it's your fault!"

Happy to know that he wasn't the cause of this catastrophe, Naruto endured the punch and asked Kiba hestitantly, "Well, what school is it?"

Here Kiba's grin faded a little. "Um…" then he muttered something.

"What was that?"

"Konoha Academy," he mumbled. Then, hastily, he opened his brown paper bag and began to eat his sandwich.

Naruto felt horrible. Suddenly, an impulsive idea came to him. "You can come live with me! Then you can still go to Public!"

Kiba brightened for a moment, then sighed. "Naw. Mom would never let me. I mean, the dorms are free, and…" his voice trailed off.

Naruto knew what he was going to say but didn't. The blonde had to work two shifts, seven days a week just to pay the bills for himself. How could he pay for two people? He thought frantically for an upside to the situation. He so hated pessimism.

Then it struck him.

A wide grin spread across his face, and he nudged Kiba in the ribs. "Hey, good news is I can come and slum off you in that fancy shmancy dorm and relieve you from the posh-ness! And you can introduce me to all the hot, rich chicks!"

At this Kiba cracked a smile. "Nope. I'm keeping _those_ to myself. You can have the guys, though."

"Shut up and eat, rich boy!"

"Make me, pauper!" Kiba said imperiously, grinning wildly now. He remembered why Naruto was his best friend.

_Because no matter how dark it is, he always finds the silver lining in the clouds.

* * *

_

**Coming Up:**

To An Academy Student, From a Public Student:

I don't want to do this, but I have to, so whatever. I'll go first! (Haha, get it? I'm the first one writing the letters? You couldn't be first even if you wanted to!) You can call me Kabuki. I go to Public, and I'm the most kick-ass dude there, not to mention the sexiest! And the one thing I want to do the most in my life is to become what my mom was- one of the best performers in the world.

LINE

**TBC**


	2. Getting to Know You

_**Good News, Bad News**_

**Disclaimer: The muse of writing came to me while reading the two books listed in the first chapter. I did not write these books, nor did I write/create Naruto. If you sue me, I shall sue back. My uncle's a lawyer.**

**LINE**

_Hard days made me  
Hard nights shaped me  
I don't know they somehow saved me  
And I know I'm making something out of this life they call nothing  
I Take what I want  
take what I need  
you say it's wrong, but it's right for me  
I won't look down  
Won't say I'm sorry  
I know that only God can judge me_

Chorus_  
And if I make it through today  
Will tomorrow be the same  
Am I just running in place  
And if I stumble and I fall  
Should I get up and carry on  
Will it all just be the same  
Cause I'm young and I'm hopeless  
I'm lost and I know this  
I'm going nowhere fast that's what they say  
I'm troublesome I've fallen  
I'm angry at my father  
its me against this world and I don't care  
I don't care._

- "Young and the Hopeless" by Good Charlotte, part 1

-----

Naruto dragged himself through the front door of his flat. "So…tired…" he groaned, tossing his backpack onto his kitchen counter. After locking the door behind him he turned around and surveyed his small, one-roomed apartment. Although his windows were dirty, they weren't broken. Beside his bookcase (on which was haphazardly stacked books, the titles ranging from Ripley's Believe it or Not! to a worn copy of Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories) was a cheap futon with bright orange sheets folded neatly on top, a green stuffed frog perched and grinning at him from its resting place on the sheets. His small kitchen was sparce, but relatively clean, and his trash was about to overflow. The blonde smiled in satisfaction. "Good. No break-ins today. Seems those idiots finally realized I have nothing worth stealing."

Opening his cabinet, he grabbed a metal pot and a bag of Oriental flavored Top Ramen, filled the pot with water, and put it on the stove. As the water began to boil, Naruto pulled a notebook and pen out of his backpack. What should he write? After thinking for a moment, he bent over and began.

_To An Academy Student, From a Public Student:_

_I don't want to do this, but I have to, so whatever. I'll go first! (Haha, get it? I'm the first one writing the letters? You can't be first even if you wanted to!) You can call me Kabuki. I go to Public, and I'm the most kick-ass dude there, not to mention the sexiest! And the one thing I want to do the most in my life is to become what my mom was- one of the best performers in the world._

_I love ramen! I could eat it all day long. Do you love ramen? Ha, of course you do! I especially like it when someone takes me out to eat at the Ichiraku Noodle Stand- it's my favorite place to eat because it's small and isn't really well know, which makes it a great place to buy or sell my drugs. They make GREAT miso ramen! My favorite past time is lighting small children on fire, and I like to lurk around the park at midnight. I really like acting, and I'm in the community center's production of _West Side Story. _They even let me use my own switchblade for the fighting scenes!_

_And those are My Favorite Things. My. Umino put it on the board as an idea for us. I suggested "My Favorite Ways to Commit Suidice/Homicide", but for some reason he turned it down. I could talk for PAGES with a subject like that! See, all these wanna-be gangsters and emos these days prefer guns, mostly because they're flashy and get a lot of attention. I, however, would take my switchblade over any Uzi, any day! I mean, they don't get tons of attention (imagine it- you see your target in a crowd, you just walk up, stick 'em, then walk away. Pretty easy, despite popular opinion.), they're easy to conceal, you don't get in half as much trouble if the cops get their hands on you (ANYONE might by carrying a jackknife or Swiss Army knife, but if you have a gun they totally go anal), and chicks think they're WAY sleeker and cooler than guns. Plus, one of my buddies told me that all the respectable dons carry switchblades. Haha, a respectable don!_

…_since you're a good, polite, sheltered student, I'll explain. A don is a godfather. You know what a godfather is, right? The head of the Mafia. You know, Mafia? The Mob? Yakuza?_

_Anyway, you probably won't even have the chance to read my letter, since after you finish going to EVERY SINGLE class period (I mean, what would they think of you ditching class?) you probably have to go take equestrian lessons and then spend all night doing your homework and practicing the violin or cello or piano. Of course, I can't leave out you telling precious Mummy and Daddums about your wonderful day at the Academy._

_Have a nice life!_

_With all the Disrespect in my Heart (and I have PLENTY),_

_Kabuki_

Chuckling to himself in a maniacal manner, Naruto ripped the page out of his notebook and folded it neatly. "Heh heh, the stupid sap won't know what hit him. Now, back to my ramen…"

-----

"Hon, it's time for dinner"

Tenten yanked a soft gray sweatshirt over her head, glad that their kitchen window was right underneath hers. She didn't even have to open her door! "I'm not hungry, Mom!" she hollered down.

Her mother hesitated before shouting back, "But George made his special barbeque chicken you like so much!"

"Well then tell him I said thanks, put it in a container, and I'll eat it later!" She yelled back, pulling her still-wet hair into a messy ponytail.

"Tenten, if I find out that you're on a diet-"

"I'm _fine_, Mom!" Tenten looked around for her backpack . "I have homework I need to do! There it is," she muttered to herself, and grabbed it.

"…all right, but if I find that chicken still in the fridge or in the trash when I get up tomorrow, you're in big trouble!"

The teenage girl just rolled her eyes. "Gotcha, Mom!" She plopped onto her poofy comforter-covered bed on her stomach; her backpack lay next to her. Tapping a pen (which proudly declared 'Hyuuga Incorporated') on her pad of paper, she thought about the assignment that Mr. Umino had given them.

"It's easy, really," she said out loud. "Just write a couple letters and get an A. No big deal." She went from tapping her pen to chewing on it lightly, deep in thought. "But if I do write it, who's going to get it? Some stuck-up rich chick who thinks she's the center of the universe, or some lame boy that assumes I'm a loose bimbo with no brains?" And while pondering this thought, she realized _exactly_ what she wanted to tell her new "friend".

Biting the inside of her cheek softly in concentration, she began to write, then ballpoint flying across the paper.

_To an Academy Student, From a Public Student:_

_My teacher, Mr. Umino, gave our class a whole list of things I could tell you or talk to you about, ranging from completely juvenile to completely out-of-the-question. But is it really necessary to know what I like, dislike, or want to do with my life if you're just going to write to me for a project, and you don't really care at all?. And why, above all things, would it be necessary for you to know what I look like? Would you write to me more if I wasn't your ideal beauty?_

_And, in all honesty, it's not like you can ever really know what I look like unless we meet in person (which is highly improbable). I mean, I could tell you that I have pasty white skin and spiky blonde hair, or I'm African with long, curly black hair, and you wouldn't know not to believe me. I could fabricate my entire life while talking to you and you would never guess. Does that bother you at all?_

_Of course, I don't care what you look like. It's the insides that count, you know, and unless I'm proved wrong all Academy students seem uncaring and selfish on the inside._

_Sorry. Let me rephrase that. All Academy students ARE uncaring and selfish._

_Now here comes my second point. Now that you know how I feel about Academy, will you still write to me? Even if I totally hate you and would rather die than take one measly step onto your campus?_

_Aha! You thought I hated Academy, didn't you?_

_You already thought that you knew how I felt about Academy, BECAUSE of what I WROTE! See how easy it is to lead someone astray? You already had my personality pinned on a chart of cliques. _

_And by the way, I don't hate Academy. I hate snobs. But I'm glad that the second example to my point is over, because I'm hoping that you're literate enough to understand what I said. (For the record, I also hate stupid people. Not people that have learning disabilities, but people that are illiterate because they choose to be stupid and close-minded.)_

_Don't get me wrong, we have tons of stupid kids at Public; but we have smart ones, too. I'm pretty sure it's the same way over at Academy._

_Glad We Had This Chat,_

Numero Uno

--------

_To An Academy Student, From a Public Student:_

_I don't know what you think about Public students, but Mr. Umino told us to be polite and open-minded, so I'm going to pretend you don't go to Academy._

_Hi! My name's Sakura. Mr. Umino told us we could use pseudonyms, but I chose to use my real name, since it's so pretty. 3 He also reassured me that he would make sure that my letters went to a girl, and I hope he didn't screw up! My best features are my eyes, and my worst is my stupid big forehead. I'm the smartest girl in my grade, but I still love to shop (both for clothes _and_ boys!) We don't have very cute boys at Public, so I go to the mall a lot to check them out. Do you like to shop at Forever 21? It's my favorite store. When I'm older I would like to become a filthy rich lawyer and travel the world. I would spend days in Paris, London, Tokyo, New York, and Quebec, going to fashion and art shows. I don't really know why I want to go to Quebec, though, other than I've heard they have really hot boys there._

_Public's a pretty good school, if you consider some of the idiots that they bring in here to force-feed education; and some of the girls could _really_ use makeovers, too. But everyone here has known each other since they were little kids, so we don't get into nearly as many fights as people think we do. Sure, there's the every-day squabbles Naruto Uzumaki (he's the class clown. Kinda cute, in a mischievous, devilish little-kid way) gets into with the teachers, and the occasional fights between us and Kaze High (those can get a little violent, but did you HEAR what they did to our basketball team! They deserve every bit of hell we give 'em!), but that's it!_

_Anyway, I hope that you'll respond in a positive manner. I want to be friends with you, really, I do. But if you in any way, shape or form insinuate that I am a slut, prostitute, hooker, or stripper, I will hunt you down like a bitch and kick your pampered ass._

_Love,_

_Sakura_

Sakura smiled in satisfaction at her letter. There! "Intelligent and sweet, but straight forward and to-the-point," she said out loud to herself, pleased. Suddenly she raised her head sharply and sniffed the air. She heard a smoke alarm go off. "What the- " Sakura jumped to her feet and ran to the kitchen. "DAD!"

Her father stood in the middle of the kitchen wearing a pink apron, oven mitts on both hands, desperately trying to take something out of the oven, turn down the temperature on the stove so the pot on top would stop boiling over, and deal with the smoke alarm all at once. He looked over and smiled valiantly. "Oh, hi, honey! Just making dinner. Don't you worry one bit!"

Ignoring him, Sakura put a towel in his hands. "Wave that infront of the smoke alarm until it stops beeping," she instructed. Swirling around, she took the pot off the stove and put it in the sink; then she grabbed a towel and flung open the oven door. Smoke poured out of it, and in the corner of her eye she could see her dad beating the smoke detector valiantly with the towel.

Coughing, Sakura pulled the charred remains of…_something_…out of the over, slammed the door close, dropped the thing onto the stove, and blew at her now-burning hands. "Ow, ow, ow," she whimpered, shaking her hands in an attempt to stop them from stinging, and sat down on an open chair. When the incessant beeping finally ceased, her father, too, plopped down next to her, trying to catch his breath.

Brushing back her sweaty hair, Sakura noticed a discarded package on the table and picked up it. After scanning it quickly, she looked up at her dad with one eyebrow raised. "Lasagna, Dad?"

He grinned cheerfully. "I thought you and your mother would like something different!"

"And the pot?"

"Corn on the cob!"

She rolled her eyes, but smiled ruefully. "Daddy, you really are helpless."

Sitting up straighter, he frowned. "Hey! Who painted your bedroom, and fixed the sink in your bathroom, and gave one of those two chromosomes that make up your DNA, and is currently teaching you how to drive?" He grinned again and slung and arm around his daughter in a rough hug. "C'mon now, I think we make a great team! But what do you say about dinner?"

Surveying the kitchen, which looked more like a disaster area, Sakura stood up and grabbed a flyer off the fridge, which was also decorated with awards and pictures of her. "Like, what about Chinatown?"

Her father raised her eyebrows at her. "For the third time this week?"

"They say it's the charm."

"I'll get the phone."

-----------

**Coming up:**

"What if we don't want to do this…assignment?" Neji questioned his teacher, inspecting his nails all-the-while.

"Yeah." Ino looked up from her compact and glared. "I can just tell Mum that they'll be horrible influences for us and she can have you fired."

Their silver-haired teacher simply smiled and held up two yellow folders. "Here I have Folders A and B. Folder A contains permission slips signed by all your parents that they agree to let you do this project _and _that they realize that if you do not, you are on grounds for suspension or expulation. Folder B contains the letters from Public High that have already arrived."

Sasuke Uchiha stood up, slamming his hands on his desk. "What do you mean, they've already arrived? We just found out about this idiotic thing you call a 'project'."

There was an evil twinkle in Mr. Hatake's eye. "I was supposed to tell you two days ago, but it slipped my mind."

--------

**To Be Continued…**


	3. Rich 'n Famous

**Title: Good News, Bad News**

**Chapter 3: Rich 'n Famous**

**Author's Notes: I have exactly one reason this chapter is so late. My mother is the new Hitler. Adolf was overthrown by a greater evil. ALSO- Kudos and tons of glomps to those that have read and/or love the play Antigone. IT SO TOTALLY ROCKS! ( – is WAY into any and all plays, especially ones where someone dies)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor do I own The Year of Secret Assignments. If I did, I probably wouldn't be writing a fanfiction, because I created it. (Haha, can you imagine Kishimoto reading Naruto fanfiction? "AAAARG! How the hell did _he_ get paired with _her_! Didn't I make it clear enough! flames fanfic author")**

* * *

"Friday..._yeeeeaaaaah, _Fraiiiiiiiday! The party day, duh, duh, for you and _meeeee..._" Naruto sang his newly made-up song at the top of his lungs, as Kiba drummed on the seat in front of him. 

"Kiba, stop hitting my seat like a monkey!"

"The best daaaaaay, _yeeeeaaaah!_ Friday, yeah yeah yeah!"

"You would know then, wouldn't you? And I don't hafta listen to you at all!"

"Mooooom!"

"Movin' in with all the rich _kiiiiiids_, they won't know, yeah, what _hiiiit 'eeeeeem! _On a Friday, _yeeeeaaaah!"_

"Naruto, be quiet! We already have enough idiots on the radio, we don't need one in person!" Kiba's mom told him in a strict voice from the front seat. "Kiba, stop hitting your sister's seat! And just because she is the monkey trainer does not make her a monkey, do you understand young man?

Kiba's sister, Ai, just smirked. "Yeah, and if being a monkey trainer makes me a monkey, then you're just a puny dog!"

Naruto and Kiba gasped. "That mean ugly lady didn't mean it, Akamaru," Kiba crooned to his small white dog in his lap. "She's just jealous because you can do backflips and she can't, yes she is!" For extra measure, he kicked Ai's seat, hard.

"Mooooooom!"

Kiba's father, who was driving, sighed and kept his eyes on the road. "Kids, listen to your mother and be nice!"

"She's my auntie, not my mom," Naruto grumbled. (He was still sore about the whole song incident. 'I am not an idiot...') "Why do I have to listen to her?"

Something hit Naruto, hard. "OOOOW!"

"_Not your mother!_ I think that feeding you and helping you out and cleaning that filthy apartment of yours and letting you sleep over almost every night makes me your mother in all ways but birth, so you _will_ shut your mouth and behave until we get to Kiba's new school, do you hear me, Naruto Arashi Uzumaki?"

"What did you _throw_ at me? A rock?" whined the blond, touching the lump on his head gingerly before picking up the said object.

"Dude," Kiba said softly, laughing. "She called you by your full name."

Naruto stared incredulously at the perilous object in his hands. "You threw a _cd case_ at me?"

"Naruto got busted," Ai snickered.

"I can't believe you threw a cd case at me!"

"I'll throw more than that if you don't be quiet, young man!"

The blonde teenager sulked in his seat. "Yeah, yeah. I see how this family is. You take me out of school early to help Kiba settle in, only to abuse me? You're a bunch of sadists, that's what _you_ are."

"Yep."

"You got it!"

"I prefer being called the Mistress of Terror. Much more frightening, don't you think, honey?"

"Whatever you say, dear."

* * *

"Excuse me. Pardon me. Would you _mind_ letting me through?" Sasuke Uchiha, age sixteen, snapped through gritted teeth as he shoved his way through a crowd of young women (and some men). He walked through the heavy, ornate doors of his dormitory and slammed them as hard as he could into their love-stuck, eager faces (if you could slam 200-year-old doors). 

He sighed, straightened his uniform tie, and walked calmly into the giant building that was known as Hokage Halls, his footsteps echoing off the high ceiling. "Good afternoon, Master Uchiha." A servant stepped up to him. "Would you like some hot coffee or tea?"

"Coffee. And take this up to my room." Sasuke handed the servant his book bag.

The servant bowed. "Right away, Master Uchiha. Oh, Master Hyuuga requested that you meet him in the common room, sir."

Sasuke sighed and rubbed his forehead with frustration. "Also, inform the masseuse that I would like an appointment tonight at six."

"Yes, sir."

As the servant left, the young heartbreaker took a few slow, deep breaths to regain his usual composure. "Although I haven't the slightest idea for what he wants with me now," Sasuke muttered under his breath, before sauntering into the common room.

Neji Hyuuga looked up at him. "Ah. Uchiha."

"Hyuuga." Sasuke sat down in one of the huge, rather comfortable chairs next to Neji. "What is so business-like that you wanted to tell me in the common room?" It was well known in Academy that the common room was only a place for business or for those who enjoyed reading, since it was filled with books.

"Were you aware," Neji began, flipping through a file in his hands, "that we are receiving a new student today? A one-" here he looked at the file. "-Kiba Inuzuka." He handed Sasuke the file.

Sasuke silently took the folder and scanned over its contents. "Southern Konoha? Public?" He stared at Neji, eyes boring into him. "You have got to be kidding."

Neji raised his one eyebrow. "When do I kid with _you_?" He stood up and began to pace in front of the fireplace. "His mother and father are very wealthy participants in the show Circ du Soleil, and his sister is well on her way to becoming a successful zoologist. They had been living in Konoha for ten years with the installation of the permanent Circ du Soleil in the Las Villeagas District of Southern Konoha, but recently his parents have been re-assigned to a new version of the show, which also travels around the world."

"And they want him to come here because of the dormitories?" Sasuke guessed in a monotone voice.

"Yes." The older teen faced the giant fireplace, hands in his pockets, watching Sasuke from the corner of his eye . "Normally I would have to show him around the dorms, but since the Council is having a meeting at his arrival time..."

"You want _me_ to do your job?" he ended the sentence, a hint of annoyance in his voice. Another servant, this one a woman, came into the room.

"Excuse me, Masters Hyuuga and Uchiha. Your coffee, Master Uchiha?"

Ignoring what she said, he took his coffee and continued. "I mean, why should I do that?" He began to take a sip, then looked at her with a critical eye. "Does it have cream in it?"

"Yes, sir. And one lump of sugar."

"Hn. You may go."

She bowed to them each and then left. After she had gone, Neji stopped pacing, put his hands in his pockets, and glared right back at Sasuke. "Not only are you the only one that is second in command in these dorms, he will also be on your floor. Your neighbor, in fact," he added. "And don't act as if I'm doing to this to you on purpose- as president ofKonohaAcademy's ASB student counciland thus the ruling leader of Academy, it would be my duty and honor to welcome any new student, no matter the background. However, I can't make it, and now it is _your_ honor and duty as president of the Junior class to welcome any new student." His gaze lessened. "Don't you begin to turn into one of those spoiled wealthy children that still refuse to do their duty."

Sasuke stood up abruptly, coal eyes blazing. "I _always_ do what is my duty, Hyuuga," he spat, "And don't you even dare of saying that I don't what I am bound to do."

"Good. He arrives in," he checked his watch. "Ten minutes. Just take him to his rooms and show him around a bit- his roommate can to the rest."

Sasuke watched as Neji walked out of the common room, a scowl on his face. Soon the only noise in the room was the crackling of the fire. He finally flipped open the file again, this time reading it more in-depth. "Public, huh..."

* * *

"We're _heeeeeeeere!_" Naruto jumped out of the van and stretched his arms. "Hey, bonebreath, wouldja get a look at this building!" He stared up in amazement at the beautiful mason-worked structure. "It's like a cathedral!" 

"Or the Chicago Tribune building," Kiba added, grinning slightly. "Man, I can't believe I'm gonna be living here."

Kiba's mom stopped unloading the back of the van, put her hands on her hips, and smiled at the two teenage boys. "Why don't you two go take a look inside? Ai and your father can help me unload."

Kiba shook his head. "Leave you alone with my stuff? No way!"

"But..." Naruto pouted, his bottom lip quivering. "I wanna see the building..."

"Go ahead!" Kiba waved his hand at the monumental building. "Like I care about some ancient building."

"Cools!" The blonde yelled, and ran through the doors. He paused and his jaw dropped open. "DUDE! IT'S FRICKIN' HUGE IN HERE!" Naruto paused.

"Here!"

"here!"

"here..."

"Woah! ECHO!"

"Echo!"

"echo!"

"echo..."

"Would you _stop_ that?" Naruto spun around, startled, to see a young man with dark, wavy hair and flashing onyx eyes leaning on a pillar, his arms crossed across his chest. ('Wow, that guy must be one heck of a home wrecker,' the blonde though) He frowned irritably at Naruto.

His brain, only on pause for a moment, quickly snapped out of it and grinned his special 'Hi-my-name's-Naruto-you-know-you'll-love-me' smile, the one he saved for new people. "Hi! My name's-"

"Inuzuka? I know." The Academy (he had on the uniform tie, sports jacket, and shoes, not to mention the logo on his jacket) student sighed heavily and stood up straight. "Come on, I don't have all day."

Naruto's smile faltered for a moment. "Wait-"

"Come on already." The boy grabbed his arm and began to pull him up the stairs. "I don't have all day, you know."

The blonde began to get a little irritated. "But it's the afternoon! And I'm not-"

The boy indicated lazily with his free hands, interrupting Naruto. "Left, the common room. Right, game room. Left, library. Right, recreational room."

"What's the difference between the game room and rec room?" Naruto cut in, curious.

The boy glared at him. "The game room has the poker room and arcade, and the recreational room has billiards, ping pong, and foozeball." He said it in a very arrogant, how-could-you-not-know-this? kind of a way.

Naruto frowned and tried to pull away. "Listen, buddy, you got the name-"

"My name?" The boy stopped and turned. "Uchiha. Sasuke Uchiha. Now, come on, I don't have the ti-"

"HEY! NARUTO! WHO'S YOUR BOYFRIEND?"

The boy stopped again, even more suddenly than the first time. "Naruto?" he said slowly, in a cold voice.

"That's my name, don't wear it out!" the blonde chirped, once again grinning from ear to ear. Turning around, he called back, "I dunno, Kiba, but I think he was about to force me! Plus, he thought I was you- better not drop the soap, y'know what I'm saying?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Kiba barked out a laugh, also grinning.

Out of the corner of his eye Naruto saw Sasuke blush slightly. "Why didn't you tell me you weren't him?" the boy demanded.

"You never gave me the chance!" Naruto retorted. "Silly prick. 'I don't have all day, you know,'" he mimicked. "Yo, Kiba! These guys have you hooked _up!_ There's a game room _and_ a rec room!"

After catching up to them, Kiba scratched his head. "What the difference?"

"Game room's got an arcade and poker. Rec room's got pool tables and foozeball and ping-pong." Naruto answered in a matter-of-fact way, while inspecting the walls. "Wow, is this real marble?"

Sasuke groaned inwardly. Great. Just what he needed. "I apologize for my mistake."

"Anyone could've made it." Kiba stuck out his hand. "Nice to meet you. I'm Kiba Inuzuka, and this is my best friend, Naruto Uzumaki."

"Is this Picasso? They have an original Picasso! How frickin' awesome!"

Sasuke gritted his teeth. "That's van Gogh."

"Oh. I knew that!"

Kiba sighed. "Sorry about him. He doesn't get out often."

"Says the boy that doesn't work," The blonde scoffed his friend, before getting a panicked look. "Oh _shit! _I'm gonna be late to work! I can't lose this job! Kiba, I'll see you later, come visit or drop in or something. Nice being dragged around by you, Uchiha, can't wait to chat more wish I could stay but I can't so bye!" Naruto dashed back down the hall.

"H-hey!" Kiba stuttered. "How're you gonna get to work? We're in NorKo!"

"I'll run!"

"All the way to the District? Are you crazy? Just wait for my mom to-"

Naruto cut him off, a Don't-you-know-how-brilliant-I-am? grin spread across his face. "I'll run fast! Bye!" With that, he ran out the door. An eerie, strange silence took the place of the active boy.

Kiba grinned apologetically at Sasuke. "He's really dedicated."

"I noticed. Do you want to see your room or not?" Sasuke was slowly- no, _quickly_ losing patience with this whole ordeal.

"Y-yeah." Kiba was at a loss about how to act around this silent, statue-like boy, so he just continued to talk about Naruto. "But it's almost like my job to look after him, y'know? I mean, if I didn't, who would?"

"What about his parents?"

Kiba waved a hand in a carefree manner. "His mom died when he was eleven and his dad's always gone. He spends most of his time hanging around with me and my family. So, how nice are the rooms here?"

Sasuke just raised one eyebrow at the boy, sighed slightly, and continued his trek down the hall without a word.

Kiba sighed. "Oh yeah,", he muttered to himself sarcastically. "This is one fun place."

* * *

"So anyway, I told _him_ that he could, like, take a hike if he didn't appreciate me." 

"Ohmigawd, Ino-chan, you have _so_ much more restraint than me. I mean, if _my_ man wouldn't go shopping with me and carry my bags, we would_ so_ be over."

"Yeah, well," Ino flipped her hair and smiled coyly at Sasuke Uchiha, who was sitting silently on the far side of the 'new kid'. "I have my eyes on another prize. That other boy was _such_ a loser."

Kiba rolled his eyes at the chattering rich girls next to him. The worst one was the girl that appeared to be their Gossiper-in-Chief; a rich girl with long, designer highlighted blonde hair, seemingly perfect skin, and big turquoise eyes that were accented with mascara called Ino. "Are they always like that?"

His new friend, Shino (who was also his neighbor; Kiba had found out that the rooms were almost like apartments, with a small living room, kitchen, a bathroom and then three bedrooms), sighed and continued reading his book. "Yes."

"And where is your English teacher!" he demanded angrily, before glaring at the clock. "It's almost halfway into class!"

"Kakashi is always late," a bored, muffled voice came from beneath the arms of a boy that Kiba had thought was sleeping. "Don't bother wasting any energy on him."

"You call your teacher by his first name, and he lets you get away with it?" Kiba muttered sourly, before loosening his uniform-regulation tie and sulking down in his seat. He glanced around the English room, which was so different from the one at Public. Mr. Umino had decorated his bland, cream-colored room with giant posters that were normally for movies, but instead had a book or play title on it (like one with a blood-red, fancy A, that pronounced "The Scarlet Letter" overhead and underneath read, "Sometimes 'A' isn't for Excellence." and another that had a picture of a pretty girl, but everything was a shade of blue except for her one visible eye, which was bright gold, and at the top it said "Antigone" and at on the side it said in dramatic letters, "Sometimes you have to stand up for things...Even if you stand alone.") and smaller ones that pictures of rainbows or birds or two polar bears 'hugging' and pronounced "Dare to Dream!" and "Fly Free!" and "To have a friend, you must be a friend." and all of that mushy, teacher-ish stuff that was so..._hopeful._ So much like Mr. Umino.

_This_ room, however, was sparsely decorated. Unlike Public, Konoha Academy had a beautiful lawn, with trees and flowers and fancy archways and fountains, and (as Kiba realized) one could often lose one's thoughts by staring out the window; while at Public most kids either slept in class or paid attention, because looking out the window would remind you of where you were. The only things in the room were a whiteboard, Mr. Hatake's (or Kakashi's) desk, and the student's desks. Nothing else. It was, Kiba decided, an extremely boring room. He noted in his "What Pranks to Pull" section in his brain to come in and spray paint the boring room into some thing a little more...colorful.

While he was in the middle of his evil concoction, a surprisingly young man with spiked, silvery blond hair and a scar across his right eye walked into the room. Unlike Iruka, who normally wore jeans and a nice shirt to class, this man wore black trousers and a black turtleneck, making him look more like a poet than a teacher. Not only that, but he came in reading a small book that looked like a compilation of some poems (or so Kiba had innocently thought). He ignored the class and the class ignored him for about another minute, before their teacher sighed, put down the book, and faced his students. "Alright, everyone, time to start class."

"Hey, Kakashi, you're early!" someone in the back joked, and a few of the students laughed.

"Yes, well, I heard that we have a new student." Kakashi looked at Kiba with a half-lidded gaze. "You're the kid from Public?"

"Yep." Kiba linked his hands together and stretched his arms over his head, grinning. "Hey, y'know what? My old teach had a scar on his face, too."

"You don't say- so you know about the project?" Kakashi questioned him, pleased.

"Yep." He put his hands behind his head Doesn't everybody? Say, do I gotta write letters too, because I already know all the kids over there."

His new teacher shook his head, smiling. "Nope, you don't. Students, we have some letters from the new project!"

Silence met his declaration, before the Gossip-in-Chief spoked in a tenative voice. "Um, Kakashi? What are you talking about?"

"Oh, didn't I tell you?" He chuckled to himself a little bit. "We're going to exchange letters with Konoha Public High School. I guess it must've slipped my mind."

"How can your mind slip like _that_?" A boy in the back retorted. "Exchange _letters_? With _Public_?"

"Yep, and it'll be your big project of the semester and worth one third of your grade, so if you refuse it, you fail!"

"Isn't it against the law to force us to do this?" Sasuke muttered, glaring at Kakashi.

"It _has_ to break some sort of civil right, forcing us to correspond with drug dealers and gang members."

"My mother's a lawyer, and she can-"

Kakashi smiled sweetly again and held up a stack of white contract papers. "Oh, Principal Tsunade has already had your parents sign forms that state that they will not interfere with the project in any way, shape, or form. Your mother in particular, Miss Ino, was very supportive of it. She thought that it was a perfect way for you to have an outreach into the poorer parts of our city."

"You told our parents before us?"

"I don't care if I fail, there's no way I'm writing!"

"Yeah, they're all just a bunch of losers anywa-"

Kiba stood up abruptly and slammed his hands on his desk, silencing everyone in the classroom. Feeling everyone's gazes on him (whether lazy, uninterested, scared, or curious), he snarled, "You know what? They didn't want to correspond with you, either. Just because they go to Public doesn't mean that they're all deprived maniacs no more than you going to Academy means that you're perfect! They labeled you all as selfish, spoiled, and judgmental, and, thanks to a classroom discussion that was open-minded and understanding, accepted that maybe not all of you were and did the assignment! Apparently they were right, because you're exactly what they thought were here- a bunch of pompous know-it-alls that don't even want to bother writing, because you've labeled us all as nobodies and pathetic junkies. Just because they don't have material wealth doesn't mean they're only worth the dust on your shiny, patented leather uniform shoes! You think you're all that? That everyone wants to be you? Well guess what? _I_ never wanted to come here! To me, Public was _my_ territory, my home. Yeah, sure, they have drug dealers and gang members, but most of them are trying to make the best with what their families can afford, and they're doing pretty good! Yeah, I have a gang back there, but y'know what? Gang doesn't always mean that you use knives and beat up on helpless people. It means you're a group- you stick together no matter what. At least _our_ gangs stay true to their colors. You don't think you have gangs and drugs here? Look around! You group of girls are a gang, but instead of knives and guns you use words to get back at your enemies- and your drugs are money and love, spreading it out, trying to find relief that you can't get that way.

"You think you're better than them? Well, guess what. Academy's the exact same as Public, only on the flipside. Two totally different scenarios, but at the end of the day you're at the same spot in life. So instead of being so damned close-minded, how about giving it a shot, and try to at least pretend that you give a damn to how tough those kids have it."

His heart pounding, Kiba finished his speech, and glared again at the classroom. There was a small smile on the teacher's face, and everyone else seemed to be receiving epiphanies and revelations of sorts. It was silent for a few moments, before Shikamaru spoke up.

"Oh, what the hell. This is all too bothersome. It's just pieces of paper, and it'll be over by the end of the year." He went up to the front of the class and looked at Kakashi with a bored, expectant look on his face. "So?" The teacher silently took out a yellow manila folder and, opening it, spread out a variety of different letters, all in the same envelope, on the desk. Shikamaru picked the one nearest him (easiest to get) and walked back to his desk, before sighing and stuffing it into his backpack. Slowly, the rest of the class did the same.

Kakashi smiled brightly and clapped his hands together. "Right! I'm glad you didn't raise a fuss about this! The person's letter that you have now will be your penpal for the rest of the year. Feel free to make up a pseudonym, but make sure to tell me what it is! Now, who read chapter eighteen of Count of Monte Cristo?"

"...we've beenreading Count of Monte Cristo?"


	4. To Write or not to Write

**Good News, Bad News**

**Chapter 4: To Write or Not to Write**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue. Why must I repeat this? Is there really an idiot out there that will go, "Sure, I'm Kay-shi-maw-to, and I made NA-roo-toe!" ...I think not.**

_**READ THIS! IF YOU DON'T, YOU WON'T GET IT!**_

**Alright, time to give you the down low on Konoha and surroundings. Each "country" (ie Sand, Konoha, Mist, Sound, exc.) are more like city-states (think of Athens and Sparta without the togas). Really, _really _big city-states. Think of Konoha kinda like New Orleans without the swamps and bayous and humidity and hurricanes. It is split in two halves: there's a rich, suave, upper-class section (NorKo), and a southern region that has entertainment, shows, exc., which is an all-around place to have fun (South Konoha, or SoKo). SoKo also has more promiscuous behavior and more crime. While NorKo residents look down on SoKo, they still go there because there's no entertainment in their vicinity; and SoKo despises NorKo, but they depend on them for the basis of their income.**

_**

* * *

**_

Randomness is the base of all conversation.

**- Unknown**

_**Please give me some good advice in your next letter. I promise not to follow it.**_

**- Edna St. Vincent Millay**

**

* * *

**

_To a PublicStudent, from an AcademyStudent:_

_Kabuki-_

_To start off, I would like to say thank you for pointing out what school you attend. I'm glad that you cleared that obviously confusing fact up for me. Let's see...I'm from Academy...you're from Public...and that was supposed to be a letter (and I quote) "To an Academy Student, from a Public Student"...I was _so confused _about the origin of the letter. I was also quite interested by the in-depth list of why a switch knife is better than a gun. It shall surely come in handy later on in my life. And I know what a Mafia don is, and I certainly know what the Yakuza is. I go to school in North Konoha, not Mist Valley. Where do you think all those rich top dogs live? Surely not in the slums of SoKo._

_I hate ramen. End of story._

_As for what I think of you, I believe that you are all bark, no bite. You are simply an egotistic coward, hiding with your "fierceness" behind paper and pen. A musical? Please. Don't bother me with your petty letters ever again. This was a complete waste of my time._

_Sincerely,_

_P.S._

Sasuke looked over his letter, frowned, and added one last thing.

_P.S. Who calls himself Kabuki anyhow?_

_P.S._

With an impassive face he folded the paper, put it in the envelope, and sealed it. 'Kakashi seems to think of more and more ways to constantly degrade us,' he thought bitterly. He carefully placed the letter in a folder, before getting up off his bed and stretching his arms. 'Why did I even bother writing back? It's not like Kakashi will even check.' Beginning to become a little perturbed because of all the stupidity, Sasuke opened his door with the intent to sit on the extremely comfortable couch and read (as the common room was normally empty- Shino didn't come out much); but instead of the usual empty silence he was so accustomed to, his ears were assaulted by the sounds of gunfire, helicopters and yelling.

"Dude! Dude! There's a guy behind you!"

"What? Where!"

"HAHAHAHA! SUCKER! You fell for the oldest trick in the book! Now die, DIE!"

"You're gonna pay for that- ha! Now who's the loser, eh?"

"Aw man! I missed! I never miss!"

"You _always_ miss, dummy!"

"Not…_THEN_ I didn't! Ha! Gotcha again!"

Sasuke glared at the scene before him. Kiba was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, his blonde friend (what was his name again?) sitting next to him. Their eyes were narrowed (the blonde's tongue was sticking out of his mouth in concentration) as they stared at the flat, plasma screen TV that was before the couch, and were attacking their controllers as if they had thumbs of steel. There was a brief silent period in which only the clicking of buttons and the sound of computer-generated feet (because everyone makes those noises when they walk), and then a large explosion went off. Kiba threw his controller to the ground, jumped to his feet, and pumped his fist in the air in triumph, yelling, "BOUYAH!"

The blonde groaned and dropped his head into his hands. "This isn't happening! I _never_ lose!"

After doing a strange, brief dance of some sort, Kiba turned to his friend, a gloating, condescending smile on his face and his arms crossed across his chest. "Hey, Naruto, I have some good news and some bad news!"

"Whuh?" the blonde mumbled through his hands, still not looking up.

"The good news is, one of us won! The bad news is, it wasn't you!"

Naruto lifted his head and pointed an accusing finger at Kiba. "The good news is, next time it _will_ be!" he announced. "C'mon, best two outta three!"

The two were about to pick up their controllers again, when Kiba noticed Sasuke standing in the doorway of his room, an irritated look on his face. The dog lover grinned and scratched his head. "Hey Sasuke. How's it going?"

"What. The hell. Are you doing." Sasuke stated, teeth clenched together.

"Um...playing a video game?" Naruto answered, the sarcastic tone of his voice adding a silent 'No _duh_. What'd you think we were doing, watching World Wars in Action and cheering on the armies?'

"Well, stop it. It's annoying. Where's Shino? Can he even..."

Sasuke's voice trailed off as the said teenager walked out of the bathroom, took one look at the screen, then grabbed Naruto's controllere and said in a monotoned voice, "My turn."

Coming out of shock, Sasuke sent a fresh glare in Naruto's direction. "Why are _you_ here anyway?" Sasuke demanded from the blonde.

Naruto raised his eyebrows. "Jeez, Sasuke, I'm sorry my very presence makes you angry." (He ignored Kiba's comment of "It's not your presence- he's _always_ a prick.") "I got here like an hour ago. Didn't you hear me come in?"

"..."

"...I'll take that as a no, then." Naruto got up off the floorand walked over to Sasuke, an apologetic grin on his face. "Listen, Sasuke, I wanna apologize for how I acted when I first met you. I mean, I didn't even try to explain who I was. Sorry if I made you feel embarrassed or anything." He wondered vaguely why Sasuke looked so shocked, but pushed it to the back of his mind.

Little did Naruto know, however, that Sasuke _was_ in shock. The cheerful, sincere blonde had no idea that during Sasuke's entire life, not one person had been sincere to the handsome boy from the wealthy family. People apologized for things, sure, but they had never been _sincere_. They either wanted something from him, or were afraid of him. Sasuke knew whether a person was being sincere or not just by looking in their eyes. This skill began at Sasuke's parent's funeral, as the multitude of powerful and influential people lined up to give their condolences to Sasuke and his older brother. The eight-year-old Sasuke had looked straight into each and every person's eyes as they passed the last Uchihas by. Some nervously averted their eyes, and a few other held his gaze, which was not so piercing at the time but was still as intense. But not one single person, the boy later realized with a jolt of hurt, loneliness, and anger, had actually cared. They were all just putting on an act, a facade. Right then and there, Sasuke decided that all people care about are themselves and what they can do to help themselves, so why even bother associating with anyone at all? And ever since that day, the once innocent and wide-eyed boy became cool and distant from everyone around him. The fact that he grew up in NorKo, surrounded by people living evanescent, fake lives made his theory grow stronger and stronger by the hour.

But here was this teenager- this no-good,loud, dirtySoKo kid with spiky blonde hair- grinning at him and apologizing to him over something so trivial and stupid as a name mix up, with all the sincerity in the world shining from those deepblue eyes. It made something deep in Sasuke's cold demeanor crack. He could feel himself warming up to this charismatic boy. So much sincerity, so much hope...

Sasuke hated it.

"Whatever," he snapped, before turning around abruptly, taking one long stride back into his bedroom, and slamming the door.

Naruto raised one eyebrow. "What was _that_ all about?" he muttered, before turning back to Kiba and Shino, who were staring fixedly on the television and plopping down on thecarpet."Go, Shino, go! Hahaha, dude, he's kicking your _aaaaass!_"

"Shaddup, foxface!"

_**

* * *

**_

Neji walked tiredly into his dorm room. As the President of ASB and of his class (not to mention his high-privilege status as the heir to a multi-billion dollar corporation), he received certain privileges, and one of those privileges just happened to be his own room. '_It's more of an apartment than a dorm- only a very _small_ apartment_', he had decided when he first saw his living space. He had been told to go ahead and decorate the place as he liked, with paint, refurbishing, decorations- whatever he wanted, and Neji had immediately taken the administration up on their offer. From a regular-looking, white walled room, he had transformed it into a fashionable, relaxing place for him to live; after all, he hated his uncle's house (which was more like a castle) because of the huge size and the people living there, and this solitary, cozy dorm room suited him perfectly. He even stayed there during the breaks, if he could help it.

Sighing, he sat down on the couch and dropped his book bag next to him. Neji looked over at his silver answering machine, with its blinking red light…and stared…and stared…he continued to glare (with a tired, glazed look of someone that hasn't had enough sleep or peace in quite a while) until the heir became quite convinced that the machine was mocking him, daring him to press the play button.

He knew what would be there to greet him, (oh, did he _know_) but the question was…did he _dare_ push that _tiny_, _insignificant_ button and add to his stress? Did he? He could hear the flashing light taunt him, mocking him…

_Do you feel lucky punk? Do ya?_

"I can't believe I'm imagining that my answering machine is saying something." he spoke aloud, exasperated. Brushing back his long hair, he leaned forward...just a little more…(it's only a button, only a button only a button)...and…(only a button, only a button, only a-)

"BEEEEP. You. Have. _One_. New. Messages. Message. One."

"Haaaaay Ji-Ji! How _are_ you, sweetie? Ohmigawd, I had the time of my _life_ with the girls last night! You wouldn't be_lieve_ what Beth did! –insert giggles here- Anyway, I just wanted to say how much fuuuun I had on Wednesday. You were so sweet, getting me those flowers! And I absolutely _adored _the necklace you bought- ah! It was be_yoooo_tiful! You are _such_ a sweetheart."

Neji rolled his eyes. She had practically demanded the necklace from him.

"And that restaurant was so quaint and cute! Though the management _could_ have been a little cleaner- they had spots _all over_ the tablecloth, and when I dropped my fork I actually had to _ask_ for another one! Can you believe that? Well, you were there, so I'm sure you were aware of that…ugh. _Buuuut_ I'm not nagging, it really was a cute place to go to! But let's go to the White Heron next time."

Neji rolled his eyes again. So much for her wanting to go to 'one-of-those-hole-in-the-wall-places,-Ji-Ji! 3'

"I can't _wait_ until we go on our next date! We should go to SoKo!" Yeah, only so she could shop. With _his_ money. "Any who, I've got to be running now! Ta-ta, snookums!"

"BEEEEEP. End. Of. Message."

He groaned and dropped his head into the crook of his right arm, letting his left one dangle off the couch. He was Neji Hyuuga- rich, sophisticated, admired, awed, intelligent, a leader of his generation- and his girlfriend had the maturity of a twelve year old at the candy store. '_Why do I put up with her?_' he asked himself, exasperated.

'_Because you may be level headed normally, but when she wears those short shirts and her leather boots you'd do anything for her. You _are_ male, you know._'

'_Oh, shut up._' Neji told himself miserably. '_Don't you have anything better to do than to say the truth?_'

'_Of course not,_' the voice replied smugly. '_I'm your conscience. It's my job. Plus, it's fun to bug you._'

'_Seriously, shut up._' He paused for a moment. '_Wait, why am I arguing with myself?_'

'_We're not arguing- I'm stating a fact. Say, don't you have an English assignment to do?_'

Giving up on the losing battle with himself, the ASB president lazily stretched in the other direction of the couch and grabbed one of his folders. Opening the yellow manila envelope that his teacher had given him, he scanned the college-lined paper in a lazy, indifferent manner. Suddenly he froze, and then sat up straight, eying the letter with a new interest. By the time he had re-read the letter at least three times a hint of a smile was playing on the corners of his mouth. _'What an odd person.'_ Smirking, he grabbed his own notebook and began his replying letter with neat, precise handwriting (that sharply contrasted the crazy, to-the-point, dramatic flaunts of his pen pal's writing).

_To a Public Student, from an Academy Student:_

_Numero Uno,_

_My my, it sounds like someone has an unnecessarily large amount of hatred in their ammo. A bit bitter, are we? I was, in fact, expecting a dull, ordinary, ignorant letter written by a dull, ordinary, ignorant person, and I am pleased to see that I was given the exact opposite. True, some students do take advantage of their parent's wealth, and Academy does have its slackers- but although they are more of a partying crowd, we do have our fair share of intelligent people (they don't make us pay such a high tuition for nothing, you know)._

_Despite your rants on appearances (and because of them), I _am_, actually, going to guess that you are a woman._

_Yours, El Presidente_

He found it appropriate that if his new pen pal's pseudonym was in Spanish, his should be as well.

* * *

**Author's Note: Okay, okay, I'm sorry it took so long. I was just dreading to write Ino's letter, but the plot bunnies resisted. So finally I said "SCREW IT." and cut out that part, which in turns makes the chapter shorter. MORE WILL COME.**


	5. And So it Begins

**Good News, Bad News**

**Chapter 5: And So It Begins**

**Author's Note: OMG I just read chap. 227-233 of Naruto (ie- Sasuke 'n Naruto's big fight) and I got SO PISSED OFF at that stupid Uchiha! I couldn't write for a week after I read it, because I kept killing him off in my story (which is not good- who's he supposed to fall in love with- Gaara? for all you GaaNaru fans out there, I'm joking; I just like SasuNaru better, that's all. )**.

* * *

_There is nothing to write about, you say. Well then, write and let me know just this- that there is nothing to write about; or tell me in the good old style if you are well. That's right. I am quite well. _- Pliny the Younger

_It is perhaps a more fortunate destiny to have a taste for collecting shells than to be born a millionaire. _- Robert Louis Stevenson

* * *

To an Academy Student, from a Public Student:

_P.S.-_

_Looks like I've got a live one! While you're talking about tree skins and such (get it? Bark? Tree skins? HA, I crack me up, I really do), I'd like to add that it seems you've got quite a bite as well! Take on any bulldogs lately?_

_Aw, doncha like the slums? They're actually really nice! (once you take out the rats and cold weather and mean landlords and partying neighbors and wandering drunks/junkies/hookers/random pedophiles) I've got a place of my own at the top of Kyuubi Towers- it's a nightmare to move furniture, but all those stairs keep me in shape, and I've got an awesome view! Mist Valley's pretty nice too, y'know. It is pretty rural, but it's nice and peaceful. I used to go there a lot- Mom used to talk a lot about moving there after she retired._

_YOU DON'T LIKE RAMEN! What in God's name is wrong with you! Are you ill? or allergic? Does it bring up painful memories? It can't be because you can't afford it- you go to Academy…I can't think of a single reason why you wouldn't like ramen, except maybe YOU'RE INSANE, which is good, because I'm pretty loco en la cabeza myself. ?Habla usted español? Yo no lo hablo bueno, sino mi profesora habla que yo aprendo rapidamente. _**(1)**_ You catch all that? Huh, I betcha did. You probably speak English, Spanish, German, and a little Japanese on the side._

_Well, it's getting late, and if I don't finish my homework now I never will! (Plus, I told the guys I'd cover the South Street at two am- the cops seem to avoid that area at that time. _Perfect _time for drug dealing, HAHA.)_

_Sadly Having to End His Delightful Correspondence Too Soon, Kabuki_

_p.s. Kabuki is a traditional Japanese theater, and I want to be a performer. So there. But why in the name of all flavors of ramen are you called _P.S._? Post Script? Please Satisfy? Problematic Student?_

* * *

To a Public Student, from an Academy Student:

_Don't write again. You are a Waste. Of. Time._

_P.S._

_

* * *

P.S.-_

_Hm, maybe Pre menstrual System. HAHA I'm joking, don't get all pissed again. So, are you a girl or a guy? If you're a girl, wanna go on a date? If you're a boy, wanna go on a date? HAHA that was a joke again, in case you didn't notice. But seriously. Call me._

_STOP LOOKING AT ME IN THAT TONE OF VOICE._

_Man, I crack myself up, seriously. Seriously. That's such an odd word, doncha think? I don't like being serious. I mean, I _can_ be, but it's so rare that when I am my best friend starts freaking out. I think I smile so much because of my mom. She loved to laugh, and make other people laugh. And wit? She _never_ lacked a come-back or witty remark. And she wasn't afraid of anything. That's why she had ins with some really top-notch people; she just had a great personality. She was always in the spotlight- sparkling, beautiful, with such a wicked glint in her eye but a sweet aura. She was the ULTIMATE performer. And I'm gonna be just like her._

_Getting a Bit Sentimental, Kabuki_

_

* * *

Why would I care about your stupid mother? She can rot in hell for all I care. Stop sending me letters._

_P.S.

* * *

_

_P.S.-_

_That's not very nice; but while we're on the subject I'm pretty sure she's in heaven, not hell. She probably makes such a pretty angel._

_- Kabuki

* * *

_

_What, is your mom dead or something?_

_P.S._

_

* * *

P.S.-_

_Yeah. She died a few years back from the Fever. We took her to the best hospital in Suna, but they couldn't help. But it was okay. I lived with my godfamily (which happens to be the family of my best friend) for a few months until I got the "ok" from the government that I could live on my own. My aunt (my father's sister) found me a year after Mom died, and she helps me with my expenses now-and-again (mostly buying me groceries and stuff- the gov pays half for the apartment and I pay the other half of the rent and the utilities). I don't really like it when she pays any more than that- it makes me feel like I'm gonna owe her something._

_- Kabuki

* * *

_

_Kabuki-_

_So you live all by yourself in Kyuubi Towers? No wonder you're out on the streets and selling drugs. I bet you're a pimp, too._

_My parents...they died when I was younger. I live with my older brother (who happens to be a totally over-bearing, conceited asshole) in this huge, empty house with absolutely no one else in it but us. I'd rather stay at school than go back to that stuffy, creepy place._

_- P.S.

* * *

_

_Possible Sadomasochist-_

_AHA! So you _can_ write more than one sentence! I knew you could do it. Eventually. Maybe. Okay, I was having some doubts. Naw, I'm no pimp, but man, I could be! I got everything a girl wants- you should see them stare at me out on the streets! I am a sexy beast, a bronzed sun god with a body that makes women (and men- DAMN I'M HOTT) melt!_

_Really? I'd rather work in SoKo than go to school. It's not my proverbial "cup of tea", as you rich folks might say. I mean, my school is alright, and the people are fine, but I like the anonymity of the streets (other than when I'm acting). And even though my house is relatively in the slums of SoKo, I've managed to make it pretty nice. I moved in when I was eleven, and since then I started some community projects to make it look nicer. Plus, everyone in the building is like family, and the longer you stay there the closer you get to the people._

_It's not like I could go home even if I wanted to, though- I need the money from my jobs. I don't normally have leftover cash to buy really nice stuff, which may be more of a blessing than a curse, considering where I live. My apartment got broken into so many times during my first year, I just started leaving the door unlocked and put a sign that said "_Dear robbers, gangsters, and junkies- I have nothing of importance or wealth in my apartment. If you insist on entering, please don't break down my door, as I have no money to fix it with. You'll see that it's unlocked. If you overturn any tables or mess up my bookcase or bed in search of items of wealth (THAT YOU WILL NOT FIND), I ask that you kindly put them back in their proper states when you're done. Sincerely," _and then you can enter my name here, but I'm not gonna tell what it is! I almost did, that's why there's that huge scribble right after 'Sincerely', haha. It's still there, even though I don't need it anymore. Like I said, in Kyuubi Towers we're all family. The local gang doesn't let any other thug or thief come into the Towers._

_But they like me. Wanna know how? (It's actually a cool story behind it all.) I was twelve years old, and it was a really cold night. When I looked out my window I saw a couple of guys just standing out in the snow. Now, my mom always told me to help a person in need (even if they're buff and scary and have tons of tattoos and scars and carry weapons, because lots of people in show biz are buff and scary and most have tattoos and scars and carry weapons) and since I didn't have anything in my apartment to steal I invited them up, to get warm and stuff. They told me to piss off. _

_So I borrowed some mugs from Mrs. Kachii (the old lady who lives next to me), made some ramen, and took it down to them along with some blankets I got from Miss Ayame across the hall (she's a kindergarten teacher at Public Elementary, and knows how to knit). When they saw me coming towards them, I don't think they really knew what to do, so they just laughed._

_It would've been a pretty funny sight to see those tough guys wrapped in gaudy orange, pink, green, and yellow blankets, eating ramen on Kyuubi Tower's stoop and talking to a skinny little kid._

_The next day on my way home from school I ran into the local gang. Imagine my surprise when I found out that the dudes who I had given the blankets and food to were in the gang! One of 'em was actually the boss! Ha! Talk about your luck! So, from then on I've been on good terms with them- and on really cold nights they come up to my place and hang out._

_Pretty cool story, huh?_

_Rollin' With the Homies, Kabuki

* * *

_

_Kabuki,_

_Normally I would say that you need serious psychological help, but it seems that you are too far gone for even that._

_- P.S.

* * *

_

Although Shino and Sasuke were aware of Naruto's sporadic appearances in the Academy boy's dorm (there was no way they could ignore the squeal that came from the blonde every time he looked in their mini-fridge. The novelty of getting ice cream whenever he wanted never ceased to amaze him), the other students soon knew that a eccentric individual visited Kiba every now-and-then. How did they find out, you may wonder?

Well, at 3 o'clock on normal days at Academy, students were released form the prison cells they knew as their classrooms and proceeded to meander to their various hangouts in an orderly manner. There wasn't any specific rule that stated that silence (or at least a variable of calm) must be maintained on the campus, but students were just generally quiet.

This day was not normal.

At about 3:15 pm, Sasuke was walking back to his dorm (as was his custom), when he heard drifting, melodic music...he walked towards the sound, a bit irritated and wanting to know who to yell at when he found who was being so loud.

He paused and listened a little closer. Was it...Veggi? Villa? Oh, Valli. Yeah, Frankie Valli. "Who listens to Franki Valli anymore?" he said loudly, annoyed. (Sasuke was secretly a huge fan of those old songs, but he could never let anyone find out. It might give people the impression that he was a romanticist. His bluff seemed to work, as the freshmen girls standing next to him quickly jotted something on their notebooks, backpacks, skin, exc.) He walked closer, the music growing louder and louder. That was odd. It seemed to be coming from his building. It seemed to be coming from his floor.

Kiba's room, to be precise.

Sasuke stood at the base of the tall building, a scowl etched on his face as he stared at the open window from which the oldie music blared. He took a deep breath to yell something, when- (ba, ba ba, ba, ba_dum_) **(AN- C'mon, you all know the song from Ten Things I Hate About You)**

"I LOVE YOU BAAAAAYBAY, AND IF IT'S STILL ALRIGHT, I NEED YOU BAAAAYBAY-"

Sasuke clapped his hands over his ears, gritting his teeth. Was that hideous noise really human? (Actually, the singer had a surprisingly good voice while still succeeding to belt the song out at the top of their lungs.) He began to say something when-

"OH PRETTY BAAAAAAYBAY, DON'T BRING ME DOWN I PRAY, OH PRETTY BAAAAYBAY, NOW THAT I'VE FOUND YOU STAY-"

Some students walking by sniffed with disdain ("Honestly, how low will Acadamy's standards go? I can't believe I still go here."), held their noses higher in the air, and continued walking. Some giggled and tried to look into the room to see who was singing. Still others laughed out loud, pointed at the window, and said, "That sounds like one fun party! Wish I could join!"

(For weeks after this event, the faculty was plagued by loud music in every section of the campus.)

Tired of being constantly assaulted by this unknown assailent's voice (who was now identified by the now-furious boy; he would know that annoying voice anywhere), Sasuke slammed through the dormitory doors, stormed upstairs, kicked down the front door to his common room, and barged into Kiba's room, before freezing in his tracks.

For there lay a sight that he never thought he would see.

Well, not lay. "Lay" would imply that the person or object was still and in one place. A more appropriate phrase would be "Dancing-Around-Like-a-Maniac-and-Pretending-to-Play-the-Trumpet-While-Singing-At-the-Same-Time". Because that's what a certain Naruto Uzumaki was doing.

But oh no, that wasn't why Sasuke froze. Sasuke had a very good reason to freeze (as Uchihas do not freeze often, for they are too sophisticated and wealthy to freeze. Normally they would simply stop in their tracks and glare, but this occasion was well worth a reputation-ruining freeze).

For there Naruto was, dancing around the room, using a hairbrush as a microphone, wearing nothing but a loosely wrapped, fluffy white towel around his waist. In fact, it wasn't really even around his waist. Somewhere in the back of Sasuke's mind a practical voice dryly speculated that perhaps the towel had originally been safely tucked around Naruto's waist, but after a few minutes of dancing had proceeded to droop to its current precariously-balanced position on Naruto's hipbones (where it threatened to just up and fall off _Or_, the voice said again, _the more technical term would be "to just _down _and fall off", since towels also must obey the laws of gravity._, which would leave the blonde as naked as the day he was born in front of the Uchiha).

The hazardous towel (oh, it may have been fluffy and innocent-looking enough, but by then Sasuke was sure that the thing was pure evil) that hugged the blonde's slim hipbones exposed a lean, golden torso that was barely a shade lighter than the deep tan on Naruto's arms. Although his skin was mostly blemish-free, it was scarred in various places (old scars, from the look of them), but Sasuke paid little attention as his gaze was captured by the few dark gold hairs that began at the base of Naruto's perfect (at least, in Sasuke's opinion) abs and led to-

Well. One can only imagine.

And so, a conclusion was drawn from that most resourceful voice in Sasuke's head. (A conclusion that the Uchiha never would had guessed, had he not walked in on the half-naked boy.)

And the conclusion was...

Despite being quite vertically challenged for a sixteen-year-old boy and beneath that shaggy blonde hair in desperate need of a haircut and old clothes, Naruto Uzumaki had the body of a _god_. A slender, golden-skinned, sinewy-muscled, blue-eyed god of sex.

Naruto, being oblivious to Sasuke's shock, grinned wryly and turned down the music. "Hey, Uchiha bastard! Long time no see!"

Sasuke quickly collected his thoughts. "What. Are. You. Doing." he growled through clenched teeth (it seemed to be all he could do around Naruto was growl through clenched teeth. The boy was just that insufferable.)

The blonde raised one eyebrow. "Um...singing?" he suggested in a really-how-dumb-are-you? tone of voice.

"Why."

"Because I _can_."

"And you're half-naked...why?" (He resisted the urge to scream, 'Pull up your goddamn towel before I pull it off!' That would have been very improper, and not at all Uchiha-like. Uchihas are calm, cool, and collected. They do not think about pulling towels off half naked, teenage sex gods. Half naked, teenagers with the _bodies _of sex gods. In no way did Sasuke consider Naruto himself to be a sex god. That, also, would be un-Uchiha-like.)

"I _took_...a _shower_." Naruto explained slowly, as if Sasuke were a bit slow in the head.

The Uchiha slowly counted to ten, gritting his teeth. 'Don't lose your temper, don't lose your temper, just pretend like you don't care,' the voice in his head advised. "I can _see_ that. Why here?"

"My shower broke." The blonde plopped onto Kiba's bed and, letting his unruly hair fall in front of his eyes, began to attempt to untangle the mess. "I-arg- haven't been able to shower-ouch- in a couple of days- oh, shiiiiit! Man, I hate these tanggggles!" Naruto moaned as he tugged the brush ferociously through the hair that hung in front of his eyes.

"And you came here...why." Naruto peered up through tangled golden hair at Sasuke, to see the look of apathy and contempt on the richer boy's face. "This school isn't paying for your water, Uzumaki."

"Well ex_cuse _me, Mr. Administrator," The blonde snapped, sitting up straight and glaring at Sasuke. "For your information, I haven't taken a real shower in at least a week because the freakin' plumber refuses to go to my apartments. I assumed that Academy wouldn't miss a little more water, considering how much you have to pay for tuition anyway. I mean, did your family have to sell its heirlooms and some cousins into slavery to pay for this place?"

Sasuke looked coldly at Naruto, arms crossed across his chest. "From what I've picked up from your friend Kiba, it seems that your family could pay for tuition."

He instantly noticed that something was amiss, as the blood drained from Naruto's face and his eye were blank in shock. "Kiba...Kiba said..._what_?"

Ignoring his screaming instincts that told him to stop, Sasuke savagely went on. "Kiba told me that your father works at some top companies in NorKo, and that you've got a small fortune to your name. So if you're so well off, why do you live in an apartment complex that a plumber refuses to enter? Apparently you could be living in one of the finest houses in Northern Korona, according to your friend's brags. Why do you choose to live in rat-infested, vermin-filled, run-down section of town that sells debauchery and crime?"

"What?" This time Naruto's voice was colder.

"You heard me." The taller boy inspected his fingernails and refused to look at the blonde. "It's a city of murderers and cheap thrills and whores-" his voice cut off as a muscular body slammed into his and rammed him up against the wall.

Naruto tightened his grip on Sasuke's shirt, forcing him against the wall with brute strength. Though the surprisingly strong blonde had knocked the wind from his lungs, Sasuke stared straight into Naruto's eyes with a bored, arrogant glint in his own black eyes.

Naruto's healthy skin and warm, ocean-like eyes seemed to have changed, as well as his countenance; instead of a cheerful teenager there was a calloused, hardened boy with piercing ice blue eyes and a paled face glaring up at Sasuke. "Don't you _ever_," here Naruto exerted more pressure on Sasuke's windpipe to make his point, "_Ever_ speak about my father. And don't you fuckin' _dare_ call SoKo the city of whores, do you hear me, you son of a bitch?"

"And if I do?" the Uchiha managed to rasp out with amazingly calm for someone who was being choked by a 5' 6" terror.

"I'll kick your ass so bad you won't be able to sit for months. I'll have you followed and harrassed 'till you go crazy." Naruto's eyes were solemn and honest, with a dangerous gleam. "Don't think I can't, Uchiha. I may be poor, but I have friends in places a pompous bastard like you can't even imagine."

Although Sasuke would have continued the battle, his oxygen-deprived lungs complained from their misuse. "Fine," he muttered. Naruto let go of him abruptly, and stepped back. Sasuke rubbed his throat slightly and looked at his attacker again with apathetic eyes. "Hn. You know, I could have you arrested."

"Go ahead and try." The words themselves were a dare, but the tired tone said otherwise. "I don't care." He sat back down and continued to do battle with the snarls in his hair as if nothing had happened.

Sasuke was a lot of thing. Sasuke was arrogant. Sasuke was distant, and rude, and rich. Sasuke was a lot of bad things, but one thing Sasuke wasn't was stupid. When Naruto's angry eyes had met his he had seen a glimpse of Naruto that had been hidden from Sasuke before; a part of Naruto that was just as alone and afraid as Sasuke. In those icy blues, he had seen the same swirls of anger and loneliness and confusion that Sasuke saw every morning in his own heartless, black eyes. And Sasuke knew that what he had said to Naruto was wrong.

Naruto yanked the brush through his hair, deliberately creating pain so that he could convince himself that the tears he blinked back were from the physical pain. _'He doesn't know anything,'_ Naruto thought angrily, more hurt that Sasuke had even said such a thing. _'He's such a conceited fucker...I can't believe I actually thought he might be nice-'_ Suddenly a pale hand thrust a red bottle into Naruto face. "Wha...?" Naruto glared at Sasuke, then looked suspiciously at the bottle.

The taller boy didn't look at Naruto at first, but when the blonde didn't take it he shoved the bottle into Naruto's hands and rolled his eyes. "It won't bite." The blonde still refused to take it. "It's leave-in conditioner," Sasuke said curtly. "It'll help untangle your hair. You only need a little." Sasuke walked out of the room and shut the door behind him.

Naruto stared at the closed door for a moment, then looked down at the red bottle. Was this Sasuke's way of apologizing? He didn't seem like the kind of guy that would actually say 'I'm Sorry'...it might be a prank, though...never without a strong amount of curiosity, Naruto cautiously put some of the strange stuff in his hands, then ran his fingers through his hair and-

'_Oh my!'_ Naruto nearly danced and wept with joy. _'The tangles are leaving! We have won the battle!'_ He thought some more about Sasuke and whether or not this was the other boy's way of apologizing as he rubbed the miracle conditioner into his hair.

A little later Naruto sauntered out of Kiba's room (his hair soft, silky, and totally tamed) wearing Kiba's pants (which were too big for the shorter teen) and a football jersey (which was also too big, and hung off one of Naruto's shoulders). He walked over to where Sasuke was sitting on the couch, reading, and handed him the bottle. "Thanks."

Sasuke took it, then eyed the blonde. Naruto eyed him back, his blue eyes meeting Sasuke's onyx ones again, but this time with much less hostility. The warm, gentle color and lack of anger convinced Sasuke that Naruto had forgiven him; and although Sasuke turned his head away a second later Naruto still caught a glimpse of the relief that flooded Sasuke's eyes.

"Won't he mind?" Sasuke abruptly changed the unspoken subject, indicating the clothes that Naruto had "borrowed" from his best friend.

Naruto snorted. "Ha, I do it all the time. Hell, I do it so much he doesn't even give it a second though, unless it's one of his favorite t-shirts or somethin'."

"Hn." Sasuke continued to read. "Don't you have work at 3:30?"

"Aaaaaaw, shiiiiiiiiit!" Naruto groaned/yelled, before dashing out into the hall and slamming the door behind him. (Hours later, after his shift at the warehouse ended, he wondered when Sasuke had learned his schedule.)

Sasuke studied the door intently for a moment, as if the wooden slab had suddenly grown a human head. Then he turned his attention back to his book and immersed himself in Hemingway, determined to forget all about the day's experiences with the enigmatic and annoying sex god.

Blonde. Not sex god. Never. Only Sasuke was a sex god, and that was because he was an Uchiha. Uchihas were born to be sex gods. It was simply the way the earth was created

Sasuke sighed, stood up, and went to the bookcase. Apparently, reading about an old man and a fish wasn't the best way to take his mind off of life.

But he couldn't help but wonder if Naruto really forgave that easily...

* * *

To an Academy Student, from a Public Student:

_El Presidente,_

_And _I'm _assuming you're male! God, even your name symbolizes the total domination that the patriarchal society holds over the world! And what makes you think I'm a girl, huh? Is it because of my handwriting? Or is it the fact that most males seem to lack the want or capacity to understand the evils of prejudice?_

_What if I _am_ I guy? I could find that extremely offensive._

_- Numero Uno_

* * *

To a Public Student, from an Academy Student:

_Numero Uno,_

_No, I assure you that your handwriting is ambiguous, but I can't help but wonder if you've practiced your writing so no one can stereotype your writing._

_I have a strong belief that you're a girl partly because only a woman could be so fiery and passionate about such a subject. If you were male, you wouldn't care about what you or your pen pal looked like- you would have instantly written about something much less political, radical, and substantial (like sports, or the types of girls at Academy_).

_Sincerely, El Presidente

* * *

_

_El Presidente,_

_Why else? You only said partly._

_- Numero Uno

* * *

_

_Numero Uno,_

_I have strong instinctual senses that could instantly sense a girl had written it._

_Actually, you must've dumped half of your perfume bottle on that page- so I guessed that you were either a flamboyantly gay cross dresser or a girl. I'm guessing...you wear sweet pea body spray?_

_Sincerely, El Presidente

* * *

_

_El Presidente,_

_THAT IS SO CHEATING! Foul play, no fair, time out! That's...that's...gah! Not fair! At all!_

_...although I was wondering why the bottle was half empty. And how did you know it was sweet pea? I think you're the flamboyantly gay one here. Not that there's anything wrong with gay guys- one of my best friends at school's bi. He's pretty cool. Loud, obnoxious, and most guess a little mental, but pretty cool. You'd never guess he likes guys, too. Kinda made me wonder...so I asked my other best friend (who _looks_ flamboyantly gay) and he was offended! So apparently I shouldn't read a book by its letter._

_- Numero Uno

* * *

_

_Numero Uno,_

_You're right, you shouldn't judge a book by its letter! I know that smell because it's my cousin's favorite perfume, and I bought her a bottle for her last birthday. And how, may I ask, is it cheating? I didn't even know we were playing a game._

_I am not flamboyantly gay. I am not gay. I am not even _flamboyant

_Sincerely, El Presidente

* * *

_

_Dear El Presidente,_

_Please! Everything's a game in life! Going to the store is a game! Meeting new people is a game! Sports are games! Passing a test is a crappy game, but it's a game! If things weren't games, they'd be boring, and boring isn't fun._

_Come one. One of us has to be flamboyantly gay, and I'm already the girl._

_- Uno

* * *

_

_Dear Uno,_

_You know, despite all your totally insulting comments on homosexuality (I never said one of us had to be either or. And- shock and surprise, Li'l Miss Political Correctness!- girls can be flamoyantly gay too, you know. Just, in a short hair, flannel shirt kind of way.) I still think there is a nice girl under all that callous. _

_Perhaps there is an explanation to your hardened heart._

_I can see your life story now- A poor girl, thrown out on the streets by her cruel stepmother at the age of six...forced to work for a cruel mistress who beat her when she couldn't finish one of her chores...given only old cheese and rock hard bread to eat, before you were finally whisked away by the magical Child Services, who put you in a nice home with two nice old people._

_Sincerely, El Presidente

* * *

_

_Dear Prez (mind if I call you Prez? Presidente's getting a bit too long, and I'm currently hating my Spanish class),_

_...well. That was interesting. I've heard of it, but I've never actually seen 'whisked' being used in that context on paper. Very interesting._

_But you forgot the dancing mice and singing birds. How can you possibly forget the dancing mice and singing birds? They were my only friends during those hard times..._

_And you can't forget that I was a female Blackanesixan-American (1/4 white, 1/4 black, 1/4 Asian, 1/4 Mexican) with eyesight problems, braces, and bad achne, and the kids at my elementary school used to always pick me last at recess and sing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and point at my perfectly normal nose._

_- Uno_

_

* * *

_

_Dear Uno,_

_Yes, I realize the only other time you've probably seen "whisked" in a sentence was in a cookbook. If you even cook._

_I apologize. When I was a small child, there was a severe accident involving singing mice, and, well...let's just say it was unpleasant. I have never gone to the circus since. And remember, although Rudolph was mocked by his fellow reindeer at the beginning of the song, later on he was used as an animal of labor to distribute materialism to children everywhere later._

_Sincerely, El Presidente

* * *

"Tenten, sweetie, I need you to do me a favor." Her mother leaned on the doorway, watching her daughter with soft brown eyes._

She looked up from her computer, a curious look on her face. "Sure, Mom. What is it?"

"I forgot some papers at the office. I would go get them myself, but..."

The worn, tired look on her mother's face cause Tenten to leap out of her chair. "Of course I'll go! There's no way that I'll let you drive, not when you're this exhausted! I swear, that company is a sweat factory, working you like that." She grabbed a sweatshirt. "Now, you just sit down and relax, and I'll be back in a minute."

He mother's eyes widened. "Oh, no, dear. I need to work on some projects. There's no way I can-"

"You can, and I'll make you." She leaned over and pressed a button on the intercom. "Sarah? Could you draw a bath for Mom? And put some of those nice sea salts in it, too."

"Yes, dearie, of course. I'll make sure she gets her rest. Really, Miss Kunai, you work to hard!"

Her mom took over the intercom, a worried look on her face. "Sarah, really, I have work to do. Don't bother."

"Nonsense!" retorted the voice. "You get yourself to your room, missus, and I'll have George make some of that nice tea you love so much. Drive safely, Miss Tenten."

Tenten smiled sweetly at her mother. "See? It's all settled." She kissed her mom on the cheek and grabbed the car keys out of her hand. "You rest, and I'll be back in a bit."

Kunai Mastsumoto smiled wearily at her daughter. "Drive safely, honey."

The teen tossed the keys in the air, caught them, then winked at her mom. "No worries, mom!" She dashed out the door, and soon she was on her way to the Human Resources department of Hyuuga Enterprise.

* * *

"'Spend more time in the office,' he says," Neji muttered darkly under his breath as he flipped through files. "'It'll all be yours someday.' 'Show more of an interest.' Hn. Like I _want_ it."

He sighed. It was eight o' clock on a Friday. He should be out doing something fun. He had a girlfriend- shouldn't he take her out somewhere? _'She said she's changed,'_ he though, but a voice in the back of his head reminded him of all the times she had broken her promises. With a sigh he put down the file and left the office. _'Really, this is enough. I'm going out somewhere. Or at least going home.'_ He locked the door and walked out into total silence, a sound he welcomed (the campus had been noisy that day- he could have sworn he heard someone playing Frank Valli), and was about to leave when he saw a light on in one of the head offices. _'I thought everyone had gone home,' _he thought suspiciously. Peering into the lighted office, he saw a teenage girl (she looked to be about his age) with chestnut hair in multiple braids (each that ended with ivory, black, and brown wooden beads), wearing tattered jeans and an old brown hoodie. She shuffled through thick files, a cross look on her face, before sighing and lifting them to put in a box. "What are you doing here?" he demanded.

The girl jumped, yelped, andvanished behind the rich oak desk as the files that she had been cradling in her arms went flying. Overcome with a strange bout of curiosity, he peeked around the desk to see the girl sprawled on her butt, white paper raining down on her. "Oh, shit!" she moaned. "Now I have to re-file them all!" Grumbling and groaning, she quickly began collecting the errant pages. Neji stood still, just watching her gather the papers. "And all I needed was that stupid Akatsuki Company report, and now I have to re-sort everything! How annoying!" About when Neji was beginning to suspect that she was ignoring him, her head shot up, and brown doe eyes rimmed with kohl glared at him. "Well, you troublemaker, are you gonna help or not? This mess is your fault, you know," she informed him curtly.

"What are you doing here?" he repeated his question. He was beginning to be annoyed by this girl, who obviously didn't belong here is she didn't see that he was a Hyuuga.

She stopped picking up papers, slowly stood, then angrily jabbed a finger at the heir's chest. "I think the question is, Why are _you_ here, because if you worked here you would know that re-doing these files will take me at least two hours. Who do you work under, anyway, to just barge into my mother's office. Do you even know who I _am_?"

Neji was shocked. No one from this company had ever spoken to him like that before. He felt anger build up in his chest, and a cold, haughty look filled his pale gray eyes. "I have no clue."

"Oh." Instead of being even angrier (as the heir thought the girl would be), her assuming manner evaporated. The frown vanished, only to be replaced by a crooked smile. "You must be a new intern then. I'm sorry I snapped at you- I've been having a rough night. Couldja help me pick up these papers, please? If I'm going to fix this mess by tomorrow, I need to take it home tonight."

He wanted to continue their earlier battle and inform the girl of who _he_ was, but something stopped him; and instead, he leaned down and began collecting papers. "_You_ do the work here?" he asked mildly. "You don't look quite old enough to be running this department, if I may say so."

To his surprise, the girl laughed. "No, of course not! But my mom has a really tough time when she has to handle all the big problems _and_ manage these annoying details, so I help her out. Oh, thanks," she said with a smile as Neji handed her his papers. "But then again, you don't look quite old enough to be an intern, if I may say so."

'_I'm not. I could fire your mother and no one would doubt my judgement,'_ something in his head said, but he heard himself say aloud, "Well, it's not really an internship- I just do a lot of the boring stuff. Copies, coffee, stuff like that." He was appalled at the language he was casually using. 'Stuff'? Hyuugas do not say 'stuff'. Apparently, though, the girl accepted it.

"Ah, a gofer?" She grinned that crooked smile again. "Yeah. Despite what they say it's not an easy job, is it?"

'_It's not?'_ "Well, I wouldn't know, since I just started."

"Ah. Well, you'll find out." She said ominously, tapping the gathered papers on the desk before stackingthem inthe small box. "Oh! Man, where'd my manners go? I'm Tenten Matsumoto!" Tenten stuck out a hand.

Neji hesitantly shook it- her grip was dry, firm, and strong. "I'm...Neji."

"Nice to meet you, Neji!" Her crooked grin stretched a little wider. "Huh, it's nice to see other teens around the office that work as hard as you!"

"...what?"

Tenten gave Neji a strange look. "Well, you stayed this late, didn't you? Most interns go home as soon as their hours are done, which is normally five."

"They do?"

"Yeah." She gave him a look again. "Didn't they tell you that when you started?"

"Um..." Neji thought of something. "It must have slipped their minds."

The girl thought about it for a moment, then shrugged, the beads on her hair clacking together. "Oh well. I'll just make a new outline for them, so they won't forget again. Schedules are important in this company, and to keep a schedule you need to know your hours. Remember that!" she ordered, pointing at him again. "It's a good tip. The bosses like it when you have a good schedule. Not disorganized or overly strict, but just flexible enough to be able to whatever they want you to do."

Neji couldn't help but smirk. _'I can't believe I'm getting advice on how to succeed in Hyuuga Corporation from the daughter of the HR head.'_

Not noticing the ghost of a smile on Neji's face, Tenten hefted the files in her arms and grabbed the car keys off the counter. "Well, it was nice meeting you, Neji! I'll wish you good luck," she added as she shooed him out of the office and locked the door, "because you'll need it. My mom was lucky enough to get into this department, let alone make it though the hell that is the Hyuuga family. I'll give you one more piece of advice- if you see a Hyuuga coming, go in the opposite direction. After many years of practically growing up in this building, I've come to the short conclusion that most of the Hyuuga clan find the most pleasure in reminding people how much more important they are than all the other workers here. They're the hardest on new interns, so they'd be extra harsh if you ran into them. You know," she added, "I hope I see more of you. You seem like an interesting person."

With a quick wave of her hand and a short, "Toodles!", Tenten walked down the hall towards the elevator, whistling a merry tune.

Leaving Neji very much confused and startled, but also amused by the totally correct assumption of the Hyuugas. After standing alone for a few silent minutes, he reached into his pocket, took out his cell phone, and speed-dialed a number.

"Anko? Yes, this is Neji. I want you to look up someone by the name of Tenten Matsumoto..."

**

* * *

AN: Aaaahhh, you see? I made it extra long, just for you guys! This is how much I love you. I wanted to add even more, but I don't think I should wait any longer. So, here you go! ;; I know the last chapter wasn't really up to my speed (and by that I mean by length, not by speed of update- I've never been good with that), so this is my way of apologizing. Hope you enjoyed it! Next time, look forward to some KakaIru, some more amusing letters, and Naruto dressed as a girl! (Yes, there is a plot behind it- and it will make much sense, I promise.)**


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